Sundays in Senegal are slowish. Regardless, things are on the up and up. I spent yesterday with Alex. I'm amazed at how incredibly nice his friend Francois is. He did so much for us! I wonder if his friends just want me to marry him and bring him to the US so they're trying to help him out. I guess maybe they're just nice.
I'm pretty sure that my family does like me now. Maybe it was just a bad week before. Today they insisted that I eat vegetables and meat during lunch. This made up for the other night when I felt like they took all the vegetables out of my section which had to be a sign of hatred. I think I'm not giving enough credit to cultural differences and misunderstandings and simply jumping the gun with the assumption that they don't like me.
It's hard to believe that our seventh week is over. No classes tomorrow for coreytee which I have no clue how to spell. I'm glad that Ramadan is over. Maybe I'm not very patient with religion. I had respect for Ramadan at first because I thought the purpose of fasting was to better understand poverty. I was really frustrated to learn that even the hungry fast during the month. I fasted two days and I did not feel like I found any new solidarity in my life; I just felt ill. It also gets really tiring when your teachers are too tired to teach because they're fasting. That would never fly at home. But maybe that's me being culturally insensitive because religion is more personal than being professional and maybe that should be more important.
It's so hot lately. I cannot wait for cooler weather. I am pretty used to sweating and it doesn't really bother me all that much anymore I guess. It'd just be nice to stop.
I have been thinking about home a little more lately. It's the halfway point when you start to think about things like that. I cried when I was with Alex yesterday about my grandma. That was the first time I really felt like I was in a safe place and had someone there who cared about me. He was really sad to see me crying but he made me walk to the telecentre later in the evening and call home. I love that he's so thoughtful. He was so surprised yesterday when I told him that I had told my family I had a boyfriend. He said he was going to write a letter to my mom. I think it's adorable.
I just looked at Benny's myspace profile and saw that his cousin passed away recently. The other day a girl in another program was sitting and chatting with us when her mom called to tell her that her father had passed away. He had been terminally ill and she was sort of expecting it but it was still such a reality check. I hadn't thought of Benny a lot lately. I miss him, though. He was so much fun this summer. I am tired of leaving people. Now I'm here and with Alex and soon I will leave him forever just like Benny. It's nice to meet so many different people but I don't like having to say goodbye all the time.
I feel like I'm finally accepting the fact that I'm actually an adult despite the fact that I don't feel smart enough or brave enough or responsible enough for that title. I still feel like a kid about to get shoved out of college in 8 months into a huge unknown. My whole life all I've done is be a student. For the first time ever I don't know where I'm going to be in a year. It's horrifying. Being an adult is stupid! I'm not finished learning, I don't feel like I could be useful in any profession yet. Why don't they just let me stay in college?!
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